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第4章黑猫(4)
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&asIsat,halfstupefied,inadehaninfamy,myattentionwassuddenlydrawntosomeblackupontheheadofoheimmensehogsheadsofGin,orofRum,whistitutedtheitureoftheapartment.Ihadbeenlookithetopofthishogsheadforsomeminutes,andwhatnowcausedmesurprisewasthefactthatIhadnotsooheobjectthereupon.Iapproachedit,ahmyhand.Itwasablackcat—averylargeone—fullyaslargeasPluto,andclhimioohadnotaonanyportionofhisbody;butthiscathadalarge,althoughichofwhite,earlythewhio.
Uponmytoughim,heimmediatelyarose,purredlainstmyhand,aedwithmyhen,wastheverycreatureofwhichIwasioopurchaseitofthelandlord;butthispersonmadenoclaimtoit—khingofit—hadbefore.
Iycaresses,and,wheogohome,theanimalevincedadispositiontoae.Ipermittedittodoso;oallystoopingandpattingitasIproceeded.Whehehouseitdomesticateditselfatondbecameimmediatelyagreatfavoritewithmywife.
Formyownpart,Isoonfoundadisliketwithihiswasjustthereverseofated;butIknohyitwas—itsevidentfondnessformyselfratherdisgustedandannoyed.Byslowdegrees,thesefeelingsofdisgustandaothebitterred.Iavoidedthecreature;asenseofshame,andtheremembranerdeedofcruelty,preventingmefromphysicallyabusingit.Ididnot,forsomeweeks,strike,orotherwiseviolentlyilluseit;butgradually—verygradually—Icametolookuponitwithuhing,alyfromitsodiouspresenthebreathofapestilence.
Whatadded,nodoubt,tomyhatredofthebeast,wasthedisafterIbroughtithome,that,likePluto,italsohadbeendeprivedofoseyes.Thisce,however,oomywife,who,asIhavealreadysaid,possessed,inahighdegree,thathumanityoffeelingwhimydistinguishingtrait,andthesouranyofmysimplestapleasures.
Withmyaversiontothiscat,however,itspartialityformyselfseemedtoifollowedmyfootstepsertinacitywhichitwouldbediffiakethereaderprehe,itwouldeathmychair,uponmyknees,ewithitsloathsomecaresses.IfIarosetowalkitwouldgetbetweehushrowmedown,or,fasteningitslongandsharpmydress,clamber,inthismaomybreast.Atsuchtimes,althoughIlowithabloithheldfromsodoing,partlybyamemoryofmyformercrime,butchiefly—letmefessitatonce—byabsolutedreadofthebeast.
Thisdreadwaslyadreadofphysicalevil-aIshouldbeatalosshowotherwisetodefi.Iamalmostashamedtoowhisfelon'scell,Iamalmostashamedtoowerrorandhorrorwithwhiimalinspiredme,hadbeeehemerestchimaerasitwouldbepossibletoywifehadcalledmyattentiohahecharaarkofwhitehair,ofoken,andwhistitutedthesolevisiblediffereraheoneIhaddestroyed.Thereaderwillrememberthatthismark,althe,hadbeeninallyveryi,byslreesnearlyimperceptible,andwhichftimemyreasledtorejeciful—ithad,atlength,assumedarigorousdistiliwasionofaIshuddertoname—andforthis,aboveall,Iloathed,anddreaded,andwouldhaveridmyselfofthemonsterhadIdared—itwasnow,Isay,theimageofahideous—ofaghastlything—oftheGallows!—oh,mournfulandterribleengineofHorrorandonyah!
AndnowwasIidthewretereHumanity.A—whosefellotuouslydestroyed—abrutebeasttoworkoutforme—formeaman,fashioheimageoftheHighGod—somusufferablewo!Alas!herbydaynhtkheblessiaheformerthecreatureleftmealone;aer,Istarted,hourly,fromdreamsofuofibreathofthethinguposvastweight—ani-MarethatIhadoshakeoff—iernallyupo!
&hepressureoftormentssuchasthese,thefeebleremnahinmesuccumbed.Evilthoughtsbeates—thedarkestahoughts.Themoodinessofmyusualtemperiredofallthingsandofallmankihesudde,andungoversofafurytowhiowblindlyabandonedmyself,myunplainingwife,shewasthemostusualaientofsufferers.
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