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第32章孪生兄弟（4）
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&eveniomylodgisofthepreviouseveninghadmademenervousandill;Ihadtriedtocuremyselfandattaihinkingbywalkingintheopenair，butIressedwithahorriblepreseofevil—apresewhichIulate.Itwasachill，foggynight;mygandhairandIshookwithydressing-goersbeforeablazinggrateofcoalsIwasevenmoreunfortable.Inoloshuddered—thereisadifferehedreadofsomeimpendingcalamitywassanddispiritingthatItriedtodriveitawaybyinvitingarealsorrow—triedtodispeltheofaterriblefuturebysubstitutingthememoryofapainfulpast.Irecalledthedeathofmyparentsaofixmyminduposadsesattheirbedsidesandtheirgraves.Itallseemedvagueandunreal，ashavingesagoandtoanotherpersorikingthroughmythoughtandpartingitasatensecordispartedbythestrokeofsteel—Ikofnootherparison—Iheardasharpcryasofony!
Thevoicewasthatofmybrotheraothestreetoutsidemywindtothewindowaopelampdirectlyoppositethrewawanandghastlylightupopavemesofthehouses.Asinglepoli，withupturnedcollar，wasleaningagai，quietlysmokingaooneelsewasinsight.Iclosedtheulleddowntheshade，seatedmyselfbeforethefireaofixmymindups.Bywayofassisting，byperformaniliaraywatch;itmarkedhalf-pasteleven.Agaiawfulcry!Itseemedimyside.Iwasfrightenedandforsomemomentshadomove.Afewmier—Ihaveioermediatetime—IfoundmyselfhurryingalonganunfamiliarstreetasfastasIcouldwalk.Ididnotknoas，noing，butpresentlyspraepsofahousebeforeoorthreecarriagesandinwhichweremovinglightsandasubduedofvoices.Itwasthehovan.
Youknow，goodfriend，whathadoccurredthere.InonechamberlayJuliaMargovan，hoursdeadbypoison;ievens，bleedingfromapistolwou，inflictedbyhisownhand.AsIburstintotheroom;pushedasidethephysidlaidmyhanduponhisforeheadheunclosedhiseyes，staredblankly，slowlyaasign.
Iknewilsixweeksafterwards，whenIhadbeeolifebyyourownsaintlywifeinyourowifulhome.Allofthatyouknow，butwhatyoudonotknowisthis—which，however，hasnupoofyourpsychologicalresearches—atleastnotuponthatbraninwhich，withadelidsiderationallyourown，youhaveaskedforlessassistahinkIhavegivenyou:
OnemoonlightnightseveralyearsafterassingthroughUniohehourwaslateandthesquaredeserted.memoriesofthepastnaturallyindasIcametothespotwhereIhadofatefulassignation，andwiththatunatableperversitywhiptsustodwelluponthoughtsofthemostpainfulcharacterIseatedmyselfupohebeoiheAmahesquareahewalktowardme.Hishandsedbehindhim;hisheadwasbowed;heseemedtoobservenothing.AsheapproachedtheshadowinwhichIsatIreizedhimasthemanwhomIhadseeJuliaMargovahatspot.Buthewasterriblyaltered—grey，wgard.Dissipationandvievideneverylook;illnesswasnolessapparent.Hisgwasindisorder，hishairfellacrosshisforeheadiwhichwasatony，andpicturesque.Helookedfitterforrestraintthaherestraintofahospital.
WithnodefinedpurposeIroseand.Heraisedhisheadandlookedmefullintheface.Ihavenowordsthastlygethatcameoverhisown;itwasalookofuerrhthimselfeyetoeyewithaghost.Buthewasaan."Damnyou，Joh;hedliftinghistremblingarmhedashedhisfistfeeblyatmyfadfellheadlonguponthegravelasI>
Somebodyfouohingmoreisknownofhim，noteveoknowofamanthatheisdeadshouldbeenough.
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