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我哥哥的朋友克里斯也过来了,他们正在客厅里聊天。
克里斯跟我哥哥开玩笑地说:“你这个家伙!
!
你真是太龌龊了!
!”
约翰无意中听到了,他试图为我哥哥辩解,便用他说得最好的英语句子解释道:“不,他一点儿都不龌龊,事实上他是个好男孩,不是个轻浮的男孩。”
我哥哥和克里斯都盯着约翰看,他们简直不敢相信自己的耳朵。
克里斯被吓了一跳,赶忙为刚才那个玩笑向我哥哥道歉。
我知道,约翰一定为维护了我哥哥的尊严而感到自豪。
我知道他是出于好意,然而,他误解了其中的意思。
对于生活上的一些小事情,我终于习惯了。
比如,我与约翰看电视的时候总是得打开字幕,我讲话的时候尽量避免使用他不会的俚语,我要放慢语速;我总是要向他解释,为什么和韩国不一样,在这里要这样做事情;我还要不断地把刚刚看过的电影的故事情节讲给他听。
然而,相互交流彼此的感情和想法才是我们之间最大的障碍,我们只能用有限的词汇了解彼此不同的世界。
不要误解我的意思,与他一起学习和体验新事物的那段日子,我觉得非常快乐。
我们接触到了不同的世界,我们教会彼此如何从不同的角度处理、接受和学习事物。
事实上,很多跨文化婚姻中的夫妇生活得都很幸福。
然而,我们的爱情让我意识到,即使很细微的文化差异,也会让我们产生很大的分歧。
我发现,要学习和适应的事情远远超过了我的想象。
我认为,如何接受彼此的差异,如何适应新观念、新思想和新的生活方式,决定着一段跨文化的恋情是否能够成功。
不管怎样,这种跨文化的恋情颇具挑战性。
现在,我与约翰已经分手了,这或许与你猜想的结局一样。
那次拜访我表现得还不错,可我觉得自己把苹果皮削得太厚了。
"Tellheryougotthisespeciallyforher."Johnsaidtomeashedrove,pointioffruitediesittingonthebackseat."Rememberwhein,youhavetobowtoher.Notahalfbowbutthefullbow,thetraditionalKoreanway,withyourhandsonyourforehead."Ishiftedinthepasseunfortably."Then,sheoingtoaskyouquestionsaboutyourary,whereyouwenttoschoals…"
IwasmeetingJohn'smotherforthefirsttimethisafternoonandhewasferventlyeonhowtomakeagoodimpression."Whileshe'stalkiherapieceoffruitfromthebasket.Cutthefruitinfrontofhersosheseehowwellyouappleandmakesureyoupeeltheskihinsothatsheknowsyoudon'twastefood.Andmakesureyouevenslidlayitdownfagthesamediresosheknoresentfoodiizi;JohureasIstaredblanklyoutthewindow.
IhadjuststarteddatingJohernatiowhohadbeeedStatesforabout3yearsnow.IwasborImovedtotheUeswhenIwasfiveyearsold.Iknowhowtospeak,read,andwriteKoreanandIthoughtIhadlearnedenoughfrommyfamilyandwatramstoknowaboutKoreans.IguessIwaswrong.Yousee,JohnandIhadourdifferences.Hedidn'tspeakperfeglish,butIfigureditwasokaybecauseIdidn'tspeakperfe,either.
Butlittleproblemsbetweenourdifferentculturessurfacedasweuedtodate.entouttoeat,Inoticedhe'dhavetrthemenus.Wheeredforaclass,hescheduleditwithmyfreetimesothathehadsomeoalkforhim,likeatranslator.Iacceptedthefactthathe'tspeakperfeglish,butwhatwasreallyfrustratingwasthathewasn'twillingtotry.Itmayhavebeenhismalepride,butIthinkhewasmoreembarrassedaboutthepuzzledlookspeoplewouldgivehim>
Therewouldbetimewhenhewouldn'ttalksinglewordforhours.ItwashardforhimtoblendinwithmyAsian-Amerids.Ondmyfriendswerereminisgaboutthe80's,thingslikeMichaelJaadonna,teasedhairandthoseawfulUMENs.Buterelaughingaway,talkingaboutoldtimes,Johnjustsatthereunfortablywithhalfagrinoriedtoincludehiminonourversationsbyexplainialkingabout,butbythelookonhisfaceIcouldtellIwasn'tverysuccessful.
&Johomyhousetopickmeupfordiher'sfriendChriswasoveraalkinginthelivingrooChrissaidtomybrly,"Man…You'resobad…"Johnoverheardandrepliedinhismlish,tryiiveofmybrother,"No,heisn'tbad,he'sactuallyagoodboy.Andheisdefiaplayboy."MybrotherandChrisstaredatJohnindisbelief.ChriswassoshockedheapologizedtomybrotherforoffendinghiAsforJohprupformybrother.Ikwell,buthejustdidn'tuhelanguage.
&tlethingsthatIeventuallybecameaedto.ForinstanandIalwayshadtowatchTVwiththeturnedonandIhadtobeottouseanyslangthathewasn'tfamiliareakslower.Iallaiainthingshere,versushowtheydidthemiotlyrecapthestoriesofthemovieswejustsaw.Butthetoughestobstaclewastryingtodescribeshtstoeachtolearnaboutourdifferentworldswithourlimitedvocabularies.
Don'tgetmewrong.Ihadagreattimelearningandexperiehingsereexposedtodifferentworldsaeachotherhowtocope,adlearperspefaycouplesIknowhavehadsucterculturalrelationships.Butmyrelationshipmademerealizehowlittleculturaldifferenmakeabigdifference.
IfoundthatIhadalotmoretetaedtothaed.Isupposeasucterculturalrelationshipdependsoiheother'sdifferendhoersonadapttohoughts,ayles.Aionshipsbeg.Asyoumayhaveguessed,I'mnotwithJohinghisMomweIhaveafeelingIcuttheappleskintoothick.
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