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第12章 通往幸福的旅途Our Pursuit of Happiness(第3页)

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对我们来说,尽管每个人对幸福的理解不同,但是幸福的含义是从来不变的。

幸福不是发生在我们周围的事——而是我们如何去看待周围发生的事。

秘诀就在于,我们以积极的心态面对逆境,变压力为动力。

幸福并不是祈求我们所没有的,而是享受我们所拥有的。

“Areyouhappy?”

Iaskedmybrother,Ian,odependsonwhatyoumeahentellme,”

Iasked,“wheimeyouthinkyou>

“April1967.”

hesaid.

Itservedmerightfaseriousquestiontosomeonewhohasjokedhiswaythroughlife.ButIan’sanswerremiwhehinkabouthappiness,weusuallythiraordinary,apinnacleht—andthosepirarertheet

.Forachild,happinesshasamagicalquality.Iremembermakisihay,playingdrobbersinthewoods,gettingaspeakingpartintheschoolplay.Ofcourse,kidsalsoexperietheirdelightatsuchpeaksofpleasureaswinniinganewbikeisunreserved.

Ieeheceptofhappinessges.Suddenlyit’salonsugsasext,love,popularityazitbefht.Istillfeeltheagonyofedtoapartythatalmosteveryoneelsewasgoingto.ButIalsorecalltheecstasyofbeingpluobscurityataodahaJohnTravoltalook-alike.

Inadulthoodthethingsthatbringprofoundjoy—birth,lealsresponsibilityandtheriskofloss.Lovemaynotlast,sexisn’talwaysgood,lovedonesdie.Foradults,happinessisplicated.

Mydiarydefineshappyas“lucky”

or“fortuhiionofhappihecapaent.”

Themorewejoywhatwehave,thehappierweare.It’seasytooverlookthepleasurewegetfromlovingandbeihepahefreedomtolivewhereweplease,andeveh.

Iaddedupmylittlemomentsofpleasureyesterday.FirsttherewassheerblisswhenIshutthelastlundhadthehousetomyself.Theaedm,whichIlove.Whenthekidse,Ieheirhequietoftheday.

Later,peadedagain,andmyhusbandandIeherpleasure—intimaesjustthekhewantsmegmejoy.

Youneverknoiur.WhenIaskedfriendswhatmakesthemhappy,somementionedseeminglyinsignifients.“Ihateshopping,”

onefriendsaid.“butthere’saclerkwhoalwaysdreallycheersmeup.”

Anotherfrieelephoimeitrings,Ikhinkingaboutme.”

&hrillfr.Ooppedtoletaschoolbusturnohedrivergrinnedahumbsupsigwoalliesinaworldofmadmotorists.Itmademesmile.

erieslikethese.Toofewisterthemashappiness.

Psychologiststellusthattobehappyweneedablendofenjoyableleisuretimeandsatisfyingwork.Idoubtthatmygreat-grandmother,whoraised14andtookinwashing,hadmuchofeither.Shedidhaveaworkofclosefriendsandfamily,ahiswaswhatfulfilledher.Ifsheywithwhatshehad,perhapsitwasbecauseshedidobeverydifferent.

&heotherhand,withsomanydsuchpressuretosueveryarea,haveturnedhappiwe“gottahave.”

We’resoself-sciousabht”

toitthatit’smakingusmiserable.Sowechaseitahwealthahoutnotigthatthepeoplewhohavethosethinecessarilyhappier.

inessmaybemoreplexforus,thesolutionisthesameasever.Happiaboutenstous—it’sabouthowweperceiveenstous.It’stheknadingapositivefative,andviewibackasage.It’snotwishingforwhatwedoenjoyingossess.

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