天才一秒记住【畅想小说网】地址：http://www.cxtra.net
第35章你长了绿头发YouHaveGreenHair
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佚名Anonymous
Hurtfeeliweenpeoplebeveryupsetting.Howshouldyourespondwheoyouplainingaboutbeing“putdown”
orinsultedbysomeoneelse?
PsychologistJafieldhasagoodsuggestion.Saytotheplainer，“SupposeIweretosay，‘Joe，youhavegreenhair.’Wouldthatmakeyoufeelbad?”
He'llprobablyreply，“No.”
Ask，“Whynot?”
Hislikelyreply，“BeowIdon'thavegreenhair.”
Yousay，“SoWhatIsaytoyouaffecthowyoufeel.Whatyoubelieveaboutyourselfismoreimportant.”
Add，“WhatifIsay，‘Joe，youaremeahatstatementlyhurtyouifyouhavedoubtsaboutwhetheryoureallyaremeanandselfish.Ifyouareclearthatyouareawarm，gehenyouwon'tbehurtbecauseyouknowwhatIsaidisn'ttrue.”
“Anytimeyoufeelupsetaboutwhatsomeonesaysaboutyou，orsomethingyoudo，it'sbecauseatsomelevelyoudoubtyourselfinthatarea.”
“Ifsomeonesays，i，‘Youhavegreenhairs’andyouknowyoudon't，there'snoproble”
“Ifthere'ssometruthinersonsays，viewitasfeedbaationyouprovement.”
&ion:Whenpeoplefeelihisstoryandaskiftheyhavegreenhairs.
人与人之间的感情受到伤害时，总会心烦意乱。
当别人向你抱怨他受到“羞辱”
或被别人侮辱时，你该怎样回应他呢？
心理学家杰克·坎菲尔德有一个很好的建议，即对抱怨者说：“如果我对你说，‘乔，你长绿头发了。
’你会感到难过吗？”
他的回答可能会是“不”
。
如果你再问他：“为什么呢？”
他的回答可能是这样：“因为我知道自己不会长绿头发。”
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