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我不好意思地笑了,她把我抱到怀里。
我们没再说话,只是默默地拥抱了很久。
通常我们拥抱一会儿就会松开,但这次,我决定,或许,我会坚持长久一些。
AsIsatperthesed-floorwindowofourbrickschoolhousethatafterbegantosiheagcar.ThiswasadayI’dlookedforwardtoforweeks:MissPace’sfrade,end-of-the-yearparty.MissPacehadkeptarunningontheblackboardallthatweek,andourine-year-oldhadborderedoiohemuticipated“partyFriday”
hadarrived.
IhadhappilyvoluherwhenMissPacerequestedcookievolunteers.Mom’schocolatechipsreignedsupremeonourblodIkhey’dbeahitwithmyclassmates.Buttwoo’clockpassed,andtherewasnosigoftheothermothershadalreadyeandgsofpundcrackers,chips,cupdbrowherwasmissingina.
“Don’tworry,Robbie,she’llbealongsoon,”
MissPacesaidasIgazedforlornlydow.Ilookedatthewallclotimetoseeitsblautehandshifttohalf-past.
Arouhenedon,butIwouldn’tbudgefrommyatissPacedidherbesttoeaway,butIstayedput,holdingouthopethatthefamiliarfamilycarwouldberoundtheer,gmyrightfullyembarrassedmotherwithatinofherfamouscookiestuderherar
&hreeo’clockbellsoonjoltedmefrommythoughtsaedlygrabbedmybookbagfrommydeskahedoorforhome.
Onthefour-blockwalktoourhouse,Iple.Iwouldslamthefrontdoorup,refusetwhensherushedovertome,aospeaktain.
ThehousetywhenIarrivedandIlookedforaherefrigerathtexplainmymother’sabsefoundnone.Myquiveredwithamixtureofheartbreakahefirsttimeiherhadletmedown.
IwaslyingfaybedupstairswhenIheardherethroughthefrontdoor.
“Robbie,”
shecalledoutabiturgently.“Whereareyou?”
IhearherdartingfrantitorwhereIcouldbe.Iremai.I,shemouhesouepsquigassheasdedthestaircase.
&eredmyroomandsatbesidemeonmybed,Idideadstaredblanklyintomypilltoaowledgeherpresence.
“I’msosorry,honey,”
shesaid.“Ijustfotbusyandfot—plainandsimple.”
Istilldidfiveher,”
Itoldmyself.“Shehumiliatedyotyou.Makeherpay.”
&herdidsomethielyued.Shebegantolaugh.Icouldfeelhershudderasthelaughtershafirstandthesvelodvolume.
Iwasincredulous.Howcouldshelaughatatimelikethis?Irolledoverandfacedher,readytoletherseetherageanddisappoiinmyeyes.
Butmymotherwasn’tlaughingatall.Shewasg.“I’msosorry,”
shesobbedsoftly.“Iletyoudowleboydown.”
Shesankdownonthebedaoweeplikealittlegirl.Iwasdumbstrueversee,mothersweren’tsupposedto.IwohiswashowIlookedtoherwhenIcried.
&elytriedtorecallherownsoothingwordsfromtimespastwhenI’dskiubbedtoes,timeswheherightthingtosay.Butinthatmomentht,wordsofprofundityabandonedmelikeaworn-outshoe.
“It’sokay,Mom,”
IstammeredasIreachedoutarokedherhair.“Wedidhosecookies.Therelentyofstufftoeat.Don’tcry.It’sallright.Really.”
Mywords,asiheysouedmymothertositup.Shewipedhereyes,andaslightsmilebegaear-stainedcheeks.Ismiledbackaulledmetoher.
&sayanotherword.WejustheldeachotherinaloembrawecametothepointwhereIullaway,Idecidedthat,thistime,Icouldholdon,perhaps,justalittlebitlonger.
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