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I'vealwayslovedyou.Al>
EvenwhenIwasyou，Irememberwantingtoplaywithyou.Butyoudidn'tlivenearme，sowe't.Ididn'tknowwhereyoulived，butIkifyoucould，you'dplaywithme.We'dplaycatch，orhide-and-seek，orwhateveritlay.Ilayyames.Iwaoteachmehowtoplaywithyou.
SoIplayedbymyself.Butyouweretherewithme.Ipreteyouwerewithme.Iedtoplaywiththeotherkidsonmyblock.Ihadyou.
Momalwaystoldmetogooutsideandplaywiththeboysdoor.She'tuandwhyIdidn'tlayinlittleLeagueorjointheBoyScouts.ShedidhatIwaswithyou.Ididn'tneedanyoneelse.
Iwouldn'tcallitloveatthatpoint，though.Ididnotknowwhatlovewas.Ijustwahyouverybadly.Ididn'thaveafeeling.
&heotherboysatschoolstartedtopaymoreattentiontogirls，Ididn'tfeelsobad.TheywerebeginniandwhatI'dbeenfeeliheyneededawoman.Andthegirlsheystartedtomatdsomeofthemarestilltogethertoday.Loveissobeautiful>
IsayIdidn'tfeelbad，butthatwasonlyatthebegiheywouldaskmeifIhadagirl.I'dsayyes，andofcoursetheywouldwanttoknowwho.I'ttelltheIhadtomakeupsomestoryaboutmeetingyouwhenIwasatmygras'plaerva.Along-distahiheguysthoughtthatwascool.Otherscalledmealiar.Itriednottocare.Itriednottoworry.
AtnightIwouldlieihinkaboutyou.Iwoyouhaddoday.Didyoulikeyourschool？Whatwasyourbestsubject？Ialreteyou'dbegoodatEnglish.Ipicturedymelohowmue.You'dsighhugsandkisses.
Iwoimesifwaitingwashardforyou.Iwonderedifyouhadaboyfriend.Iknewyouwouldn'tbeseriousabouthiYou'dleavehimthemomentwecouldbetogether.I'dgetalittlejealousthinkingaboutit，though.IwahefirsttotouchyouifIcould.Thefirsttokissyouandholdyourhand.Youwouldbemyfirst.Ididn'twantanyoneelse.
Duriicedthattherewerefewerandfewerpeoplestillbythemselves.Everyone.Someofthegirlsinmyclasswerewearirings.TheywereproudsandwouldshowthemtoeveryoheOnedayIweoreatthemallarings.Ipickedoutanieforyou.Itwasgold，withasmalldiamondiing.Ididn'tknowwhatysizewas，soIboughtomysmallestfinger.Ifiguredwecouldgetitfixedlater.Icarriedthatrihetime.Iwaogiveittoyouassooher.
&dayIthoughtaboutyourhandsalot.Ipicturedmyselfholdingthemandlookiihepalms.Itriedtoimaginehowsmallyourhandsmightbe.Hiletheymightbe.InmydreamsyouwouldtouchmyfacewithyourtihefiipswouldtouchmylipsandIwouldkissthe
IworkedhardiudiedtlybecauseIwaagoodjobwhenIgraduated.Ididn'twantourlivestosufferbecauseI'tprovideforus.AftercollegeIgotawell-payingjobwithaninsuranpany.Aftersavingfortutadowowo-bedroomhouse.Ithadalargekitdagreatbedroomforthetwoofus.Ijustknewyouwouldloveit.Whehehouse，Itriednottobuytoomuiture.Ididn'tigyouwouldn'tlikelater.Justthebasics.
&imesIwouldsitohresholdofthefrontdoor.Iwouldstaredowandwatcheverycarthatpassedby.Onedayyoumightbeihosetedthattohappensomuch.
Thebedwastoobigforjustoneperson.Iakemyselfstretchoutorsleepinthemiddle.Istayedoeyouwerewithme.SomenightsIostheary.IwouldrollotosayyourIdidn'tknoas.Iwouldjustcallyou"Love."
"Love？"Youwouldsmileatme.
"Areyouhappywithme？Areyougladyouwaitedforme？"
Youwouldn'tanswer.You'djustreadtouchmylipsandfeelmyface.Icouldfeelyourhandsonmyface.Youcouldfeelmytears.
"Iloveyousomuch."
Theyearswentby.Itriedtoimagiy.Ikhere.Ikhepersonwho'smeabeouttheresomewhere.Itwouldjustbeamatterofwaiting.IknewIcouldwaitforeverforyouifIhadto.Ilovedyou.
WhenmymomdiedIwaslefttohahearrasmyself.IthadjustbeenherandI，andwe'dgroartoverthelasttwentysomeoddyears.OmassheaskedmewhenIwasghomeagirl.I'tsayanythingtoa.I'teveheeyestherestofthenight.Iwantedbadlyforyoutomeether.Shewouldbesoproudofme.Soproudthathersonhadsuderfulwoman.Itwouldbeperfect.
ButasIwatchedherbeihegrave，Ididn'thaveaandingwithme.Ididn'thaveaoshowmymoI>
ThatnightIcried.IcriedbecauseIdidn'thaveyouwithmetoholdmeahingwasalright.Ididn'thaveahandtoholdorlipstokiss.Nothing.I'dhatandperhapsneverwould.
EagIlookedatmyselfihewrinklesaroundmyeyesweregettingdeeper.Myhairhadthinnedandreceded.Ihopedyouwouldloveme.Ihopedyoucouldstilllookatmyfadsmile.
"Iwanttoseeyousmile."thenursesays.
I&#is.
"Ifyoudon'tsmileformeI'mgoingtotururs，"thenursewarns.Ihateher.Sheisalwaystryingtomakemedosillythingslikesmileh.Shehaspaininherlife.
Leavemealone.
"oestheTV.Goodnight，sir."Shetursandshutsthedoorbehindher.Mysmallbedroomdisappearsintothedark.Ihearherfootstepsasshewalksdowhefootstepsfade，andthenallIhearisthedistanteyheart.Atearslowlyfindsitsillowddies.Myworldbeesquiet.
I'malone.
It'sdarkandI'malone.
Whydidn'tyouevere，Love？
Iwaitedforyou.
Iwaitedforyou.
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